Brewery's beers are tasty, but not
the hospitality
By PHYLLIS SPEEGLE,
The Virginian-Pilot
October
15,
2003
Sam mentioned that he heard of the brewery from a friend of a friend of a friend. I searched the phone book but found no listing. Calling him back, I was informed that I needed to explore the brewery's website at www.fatrockbrewing.com in order to set up a visit. The website, itself, is enough to scare away the faint-of-heart. In fact, it seems to capitalize on the "bad" rather than attempting to market the company's beverages. I found this to be rather intriguing, and was now even more interested in this small-scale brewing company that had been operating under our noses, undetected, for seven years.
Using the website's email links, I got in contact with Paul Voigt. This tactless individual is the company's spokesperson and Director of Public Relations. It took over an hour of enduring insult after insult and solicitation of oral-sex acts to finally set up an appointment for a tour of the brewery and a complimentary tasting of its products.
The location of the brewery is truly mind-boggling. Nestled in a quiet, semi-rural neighborhood just down the road from the Williamsburg Brewing Company, it is rather difficult to locate. My husband and I kept looking for a sign or some other landmark which would denote the brewery's presence, as Mr. Voigt had mentioned to look for. Yet, all we saw that was noteworthy was a rough-looking gentleman standing in the front yard of a residence with his hands on his hips and his genitalia exposed. Based upon my previous experiences, something told me that this was the place.
Indeed it was the place. And that gentleman was the ever so charming PR director Paul Michael Voigt. He first kept asking why my husband was with me and kept trying to get him to stay in the car. But after more insults and haggling, he finally allowed him to accompany me inside the "brewery." As we entered, two obnoxious huskies kept jumping on me and my husband, dead set on sniffing our crotches. After that ordeal was over, we were introduced to Cliff Hultquist and Keith Wright, the brewmeisters of Fat Rock beverages. Keith and Cliff took us on a tour of the facility, showing us the equipment used to craft the brews and sharing quite a proportion of brewing knowledge and theory. Having to wade through inches upon inches of dog hair and peanut shells, we could not believe that these two extremely knowledgeable craftsmen were operating in the midst of the horrendous, unsanitary conditions which presently surrounded us.
The conditions almost scared us enough to skip the tasting session, but we figured we might as well go through with this ordeal since we had gotten this deep already. There were four beers currently on tap at the Fat Rock Brewery: A Kriek Lambic-Style Ale, a fruity Peach Ale, an authentic German Hefe-Weizen, and an English-Styled Nut Brown Ale
Our first impression of all of the brews was amazing. Like "Jekyle & Hyde," these tasty beverages being created in the midst of this dung-hole is unfathomable. The Lambic-Ale had an awesome, tongue-twisting sourness followed by a pleasant malty aftertaste. Special imported yeasts from Belgium help achieve this flavor. We found out that this lambic-style ale had been aged for four years. Amazing! The Peach Ale was absolutely delicious. With a fruity, peachy nose, a brilliant, beautiful golden color, and an unbelievable peachy taste, this beverage is a sure winner. The brewmeisters explained that the ingredients contained fresh peaches, wheat & barley malts, and white/brown rice. Wow. And what a kick. The Peach Ale's alcohol content is pushing 7% by volume. The Hefe-Weizen is one of true German authenticity. The specially imported yeast (from the Weihenstephaner Brewery in Southern German) imparts that refreshing banana/clove taste which is sought in this particular style. Typically a summer beverage, enjoyed with a slice of lemon, the Fat Rock Hefe-Weizen can be drank at a baseball game or cook out, or during a winter snowstorm. The results and taste will remain the same; delectable. Finally, the English-Style Brown Ale presents a chance to visit an authentic English brewpub without leaving the municipality limits of Williamsburg. With yeast also imported, the brew has a definite bitter fore-taste with a pleasant, malty-nosed aftertaste. Perfect for its style, this beverage will raise your spirits beyond belief.
With all of Fat Rock's beverages being so tasty, it is hard to believe that their attitudes and hospitality is so poor. All throughout the tasting session, Paul Voigt (again, the Public Relations Director), kept pushing my head forward as I raised the tasting glass to my lips, causing me to continually hit my teeth against the glass' rim. His genitalia came out of his pants at least two more time before we left the brewery. When my husband slipped and fell on a mixture of dog hair, dog urine, and peanut shells, the three men just laughed and asked if "he had a nice trip." They didn't even offer him as much as a paper towel to wipe off the hair, urine, and shells which were attached to his face.
So, what are my final impressions of Fat Rock Brewing Company? I really have yet to obtain a "final impression." This experience could take a very long time to fully digest. I guess the best way to sum up my adventure is this: If you have tough skin. If you don't take insults seriously. If you don't mind anything BUT sanitary conditions. If you like taking a chance in life. And, if you want to drink some really tasty beverages ... give Fat Rock Brewing Company a try. Just be forewarned about what you are getting into before you take the plunge!